Where is the hickey?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
