We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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