ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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