$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
