The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we made out on top of his cat.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
