The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
