Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
