yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
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Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
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Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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