with your own penis?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize