You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
