I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
