Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
