Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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