plz talk dirty to me
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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