names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
