Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think my nap took me to another dimension
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
