stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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