I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
