She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
