sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
