he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
