You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
