Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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