please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
