Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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