Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
