yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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