Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
