The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
