Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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