Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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