For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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