there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
