I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
