It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
