Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
