I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
