smell my finger.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
