it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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