chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
