Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
