i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
