Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
