so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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