your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
