If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
