i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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