I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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