i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
