I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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