you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My dick has a subreddit
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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