I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
