Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This baby is an asshole
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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