I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
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It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
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Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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