what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
