New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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