if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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