I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
