Buhtt sex?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
