Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
