definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
