It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
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laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do vagina's smell?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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