Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
