I can text with my tongue
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
